I took me a hell of a long time to feel like writing anything. When was the last time I actually published anything? I attempted to write something for a few times, but I was unable to finish them.
Since my husband passed away in August, every part of my life has forever changed, altered, and warped. I’m a strong believer of the soul’s survival beyond the physical death and I do feel the presence of my husband all the time, but I still miss the conversations, hugs & kisses and doing normal things together like shopping, going out for coffee, watching TV and talking about our future.
They say time heals grief. Can it really be true that time alone is enough for grief to go away? I think I’m handling my grief pretty well so far but it catches me totally unprepared, knock me off balance and shake me to the core from time to time. Grief has spread every area of my life surreptitiously and it ambushes me at the most unexpected moments; whether it’s simple things like listening to the radio or passing by a shop, I just break into tears. My life is loaded with the memories of what we used to do, and now there’s only me left.
He wasn’t a huge fan of perfumes but he used to put up with my obsession and made comments about all the perfumes I tried. The last perfume we tried together was Winter Rouge by Eternal Scents, and he absolutely loved it on me. But then he became ill and he was no longer able to enjoy or tolerate any smell of perfumes soon after that. I put all my fragrances away and decided to be scentless as long as it was necessary…
Well, now it’s all over. I’ve started visiting perfume blogs and forums again. I’ve started wearing perfumes and sampling and making notes again. But every time when I come across something new, I painfully miss his grumpy voice telling me, “Darling, another bloody perfume?”